And when the stars fall, I will lay awake...

I should have kept my mouth quiet about Valentine's Day and Single's Awareness Day.

It's probably because I opened my big trap about it that I'm sitting here with a tempreture jumping back and forth between way too cold and dangerously hot, lungs that feel as if they have no open airways to transfer air through, a lower half of my body that aches ridiculously and a cough that is beyond painful. I actually don't feel sick... I don't know how to describe it. Asides from being uber emotional (which is a general sign of illness in yours truly), I still feel like myself. My body just generally aches all over and I feel as if I haven't slept in a week. Truthfully, I'm almost scared to sleep tonight... I feel tired enough that I could possibly sleep through tomorrow (and that is NOT acceptable.)

I should have just stayed quiet about the day. This wouldn't be so hard if I had someone else here with me, as I never was good at being sick and not having someone around (I'm big on hugs and being cuddly when I'm sick). But no... I feel like s-h-i-t and I'm alone. Technically, I'm in a house with 200 other girls, but it's no the same. I wish my Mom was here this weekend instead of next.

I've also been noticing a lot lately that I've been bitching a lot more than usual. I'm not normally big on bitching anyways, but lately, it seems to come naturally. I really feel bad about it, and there's not really any excuse... I'm just getting really fed up with certain situations. I can't bother to go into it tonight, but I'm seriously re-evaluating my friendship with a particular person. She can be a great person, and she's going to do great at whatever she sets her mind to... She just does not understand me. No matter how many times I try to explain that we are very different people with very different personalities, she doesn't clue in. As I said, not getting into details, but I'm almost through with this. I don't want to have to keep explaining myself. Other people tend to "get" (if you will) me a lot easier than she does. It's been nearly two years now and this isn't going anywheres.

Ridiculously busy schedule this week. I'm kind of upset, because originally, all I had to do was get through these seven days, write two midterms and then I could see my mom at the end of the week. Now, I've got seven days, those two midterms and three parts of a single interview to deal with. I took a chance, I applied to be a Residence Advisor next year. After a misunderstanding/oversight, I found out that I was supposed to go to a mandatory info session this afternoon. I went, sat there for a half hour, got really pumped... And then learned interviews were all being conducted next week. Uh.... Gah? :( So I need to focus on sleeping tomorrow and pumping asthma medication in to me so I can beat this attack and then focus on what I have to do for the interviews. I have a panel interiew, a presentation and a group project evaluation to do. It's kind of extensive, but they want the right people to be R.A's, so it make sense. If everything goes well and I become one (there's only 10-15 available spots), I can expect to be reimbursed for $4150 of my fees for next year. Not a bad deal for a girl who is running on the lowest bank account she's seen in some time.) So essentially, it's not a bad deal. I just wish everything didn't seem to run together this week. I get a feeling that by the end of the week, I could be sleeping through my Grandmother's 80th Birthday Party this weekend.

SPRING BREAK, please don't be late.
(I'm going back to work too. I need the money. Sadly, I'm slightly excited. I enjoy my job... sometimes. Kind of.)

NTS- Free First Aid/CPR next month. SIGN UP.

♥

I am sick of all the bullshit I put up with from people, and I'm sick of having people literally being extremely disapointed or angry when I take a day off from everything to enjoy myself.

I hate how things seem to rely on me. If I don't do it, it doesn't get done, it's deemed a failure and it reflects back on me. All my fault. Whoop dee doo.

I miss having a life. I really miss being with friends. I miss the way my family used to be. I miss my laid back, stress free ways.

Can I build a fucking time portal? I'll go back to about a year ago. I kinda miss last year.

I’m not angry all the time
You push me down at least you try
Until we see this eye to eye
I don’t want you

It took so long to see
You walked away from me
When I need you
Wake up I’m pounding on the door
I’m not the man I was before
Where the hell are you
When I need you
Wake up I’m pounding on the door
I won’t hurt you anymore
Where the hell are you
When I need you

It took so long to see
You walked away from me
When I need you

Blah.

On a happier note, I'm finally done school for 2006. Extremely happy for that.

Edit; I just had a pretty sweet conversation with Emily on the phone. I was kinda sorta extremely excited to hear that her and I have similar opinions are many things right now. I'm not the only one thinking them! Definitely a relief. It was nice to talk to someone about half the stuff that's been on my mind lately :)

T-2 Days. Friggin' right.

( Shiteload of Random Quiz Results )

First of all, I'd just like to say that I did the Name Cocktail thing twice due to the simple fact that I was curious to see what results Tina would bring... And then, to my amazement and pure shock, I saw that to make a 'Tina,' you need like.. 5 parts ego. Realizing some people would agree with this, I had to add it.

And, because I've seen too many people with these Meez characters, I decided to go and make my own. Like me. So yeah.. Voila?

Nothing like a blast from the past to bring you down even more.

Sad part is, I bring half of this on myself.

Why the hell can't I just close that chapter, and move on? It's obvious all the other parties involved have. Any plans I had made for next year have been scrapped.. Next year, I'm winging it. And yes.. Next year will suck.

It's friggin' aggravating, is what it is.

Forget the earlier post- People are a huge disapointment. And no, I'm not immune to this.

Maybe the majority of this anger is also mixed in with the fact that a huge number of my friends that I've made are leaving this year? Quite possibly :(

( Crazy Old Quiz I found. )

People are huge disapointments sometimes. On purpose, unknowingly, whatever. It all comes down to disapointment. Which sucks.

And that's really all I have to say.

Other than that, I think I really need a vacation.

Edit: Figured I might as well add that, contrary to how this post may seem, I'm actually happy. The happiest I've been in a long time. There's certain people to thank for that, but I'll get into that later. So, while there are people who are disapointments.. There's a few who are absolutely the greatest :) LOVE YOUUU.

So, my computer's back. Fortunately, I didn't lose anything when I took it in. Unfortunately, I have about 5 projects due for tomorrow and Monday. So... That sucks.

Also, Rookie is moving. Matt is leaving. And I saw Hans for the first time since like.. November. Now, only one of those things is good- Seeing Hans. He's a great guy.. I miss hanging out with him through Venturers. He'd better be back with the group more often next year. Rookie moving sucks because... It's Rookie. My partner and crime. We have a drill team together, the two of us. He gave me gangster lessons one night. He's one of my good friends, and he has to move. Am I sad about this? Absolutely. I'll miss the guy loads. He's not moving too far though.. Anytime I'm up visiting some of my relatives, I'll stop by and harass him for a bit :) And Matt's heading out to depot within the next week. And that sucks too, because he's given me a load of confidence in my position in Venturers. He's always been there to listen and has given me support, so I really appreciate that. Plus, he's an overall good guy. Definitely can't wait to see him again.

And I am going through CSI NY, NCIS, Criminal Minds, etc. withdrawl. The only downside to summer- All the reruns. Give me my new episodes.. Please?

By the way.. I love Jepordy. Right now, I love SNL's Celebrity Jepordy, with Sean Connery, French Stewart and Burt Reynolds aka Turd Ferguson. Gotta ♥ it.

BTW- Anyone want to trade stomachs with me? Mine's been a literal pain for the past few days.. I'm desperate to feel better again.

And Happy Belated Birthday, DeQ! Just noticed it on your blog :) Hopefully it was great, other than not getting anything from your parents... Especially a sword.

So...

Last minute notice, I know. But it's something I've been meaning to do for awhile.

I'm getting rid of this journal. I hate it, and I rarely post entries. I'm keeping my account, so that I can still post comments, but other than that.. I'm getting rid of this.

I'm also taking a break from the online life. I have a bunch of priorities that I need to get straightened out. Life is a big blah right now... And I need to take responsibility, which involves me leaving the Internet out of my life for awhile.

I'll be around every now and then.. Mainly on CSI-Fansite. One of you has the link. If you absolutely need me, message me there.

Until then.. Later days, guys.